As Co-Founder and Director of Mission for Lily of the Valley Catholic Ministry (LOTV), I want to share how your kindness and mercy has helped us grow from a small parish ministry into a nationwide source of prayer and comfort for families facing difficult early life circumstances. Read more to learn about our upcoming yearly retreat and how donor support has made an impact on changing the social script for families walking through infertility, prenatal diagnosis, postnatal medical challenges, and pregnancy or infant loss.
I was recently given the opportunity to prepare and give the homily following our Pastor’s reading of the Sunday gospel. It was a privilege to share how kindness and mercy have been reflected in those that give to Lily of the Valley and how it has led to the ministry’s growth. LOTV planted seeds as a small parish ministry at St. Raphael the Archangel Catholic Church in Raleigh, NC in the fall of 2022. With donor support and funding, to include being a recipient of the Human Life and Dignity Grant from Bishop Luis Zarama in 2023 and 2024, we have been able to establish roots across the Raleigh Diocese and have grown to prayerfully support families across the US.
LOTV is a Catholic lay ministry that serves families experiencing infertility, difficult prenatal diagnosis, postnatal medical challenges, and those who have had a pregnancy or infant loss. Through the communion of saints and a devotion to St. Gianna Molla, our hope is to provide prayer and support to those who carry this cross and to bring comfort to those who are weary, that they will come to find peace and joy amidst a time of sorrow and suffering.
My husband Joseph and I have been married for 13 years and together we’ve had four boys. Our third son, Colin, had a chromosome deletion, which resulted in a prenatal “life-limiting” diagnosis. When I was walking through my own loss, personally, I felt very isolated. I didn’t think the Church was doing a great job recognizing loss and having resources for families.
A social script is a “norm”. For so long the “norm” has been to keep this type of loss quiet, private, and to not share. This can lead to feelings of isolation, silent trauma, depression, and a time of wrestling with one’s faith. We have to change the social script! With the money you donate, you are helping ministries like LOTV change that social script.
We are reminded in Psalms 103 that “the Lord is kind and merciful” and to love with all our hearts. As Catholics, we respect human life and human dignity. We believe in life from conception until natural death. A beautiful definition of mercy is the following: “Sorrow of heart at another person’s suffering that prompts an effort to alleviate or remedy this suffering.” LOTV is a ministry whose purpose is to be instruments of our Lord’s kindness, mercy and love to these families experiencing difficult early life circumstances.
- 1 in 5 couples in the US are unable to get pregnant after one year of trying and experience primary infertility. Lord, have mercy.
- Approximately 3%-5% of pregnancies are complicated by birth defects or genetic disorders. Christ, have mercy.
- 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage; not one in 4 women, but 1 in 4 pregnancies, which can be within one family. Lord, have mercy.
- 80% of miscarriages occur in the 1st trimester. These women are delivering their babies at home without much medical guidance, which increases health risks and leaves them feeling isolated and without support. Christ, have mercy.
- 1-5% of miscarriages happen in the 2nd trimester and 1 in 100 pregnancies are impacted by loss >20 weeks gestation. Lord, have mercy.
- In the US, the infant mortality rate hovers around 5.8% for every 1,000 live births. Christ, have mercy.
An encounter with Jesus’ mercy and love can heal us, transform our lives, and empower us to share that same love with others. Love is eternal. It is a force that goes beyond the limits of mortal life.
My son, Colin, had a chromosome 17 deletion. He was missing 30 genes. He had a body that was not meant to walk with us in this life, but his soul brought me to the feet of Christ. Colin forever changed my life and drew me closer to Jesus through Mary. Mary said “yes” to a pregnancy that didn’t make sense to her; but she trusted God’s plan. Everyday, knowing and accepting that God’s plan for my son’s life was in His hands, was a true surrender day by day. It was my hardest pregnancy, but we chose to parent Colin, in every moment, until it was his last day. His heart stopped at 34 weeks gestation and I was able to hold him on April 27, 2021. Having the opportunity to meet him, still, was one of the greatest honors of my life. It felt like sacred ground and that the veil between heaven and earth thinned that day. I’ve never been so certain that heaven is real. I realized that our souls give our bodies life, human dignity, and reflect God’s image and likeness. What I held for a brief time on “earth” was “as it is in heaven”. I often reflect on the Pieta, when I think of Mary having to prepare her son for burial and hold him that one last time. I encountered Jesus’ mercy and love in my suffering and I felt Our Lady’s grace.
Furthermore, I came to realize that during the last 9 days of my son’s life, people across the nation had been praying a novena to St. Gianna. You see, her feast day, April 28th, was the day I left the hospital without my baby. Her novena focuses on mothers walking through difficult pregnancies, those walking through loss, and ministries that support human life and dignity. I later learned that Mary can bring us closer to her son by distributing graces from prayer, where it is needed. The beauty I felt amidst the sorrow, I attribute to grace from the prayers of strangers asking for intercession for people like me.
My story led to my conversion to the Catholic faith and ultimately the Holy Spirit led me to use my story as a vessel to provide prayer support to families walking through difficult early life circumstances.” Every couple receives a handwritten letter and I often get to share with families that when we come to the table at mass, we are in communion with the angels and saints who have gone before us. You may only see 3 of my boys in the pews, but this meal is one I get to share each week with all 4 of them.
So how is the “social script” changing in the Catholic Church?
Pope Francis’ intention of the month this past November was for all the families who have lost a child.
Last year, Cardinal Burke called for a 9 month novena to Our Lady of Guadalupe. I love this apparition of our lady b/c she wears a sash, which indicates pregnancy. OLOG is often referred to as Our Lady of the Americas. She is the patroness of the unborn and the patron saint of motherhood, feminism, and social justice. She is a symbol of hope and of solidarity.
Thanks to the support from St. Raphael the Archangel Catholic Church, LOTV was able to request 1st and 2nd class relics of St. Gianna from her living daughter, in coordination with the Archdiocese of Milano, Italy. The relics were gifted to LOTV and her exposed relics were installed at St. Raphael’s, in Our Lady of the Americas Chapel, on St. Gianna’s feast day in April of 2023. Every Catholic family that receives a prayer care package from LOTV, receives a decade ring touched to her relics and a spiritual bouquet of our prayers for them during their difficult time. St. Gianna was a wife, mother, and doctor; a pro life advocate, and is a patron saint of the unborn.
In April 2024, we hosted our inaugural retreat, in part thanks to the Human Life and Dignity Grant from Bishop Luis Zarama. This grant was established in 2000 to meet the demand for Respect Life initiatives. These funds continue to support our annual retreat and are intended to be used to proclaim that human life is a precious gift from God; that each person who receives this gift has responsibilities toward God, self, and others; and that society, through its laws and social institutions, must protect and nurture human life at every stage of its existence. Our next annual retreat will be held in Raleigh, NC this coming September 5-6th, thanks again to the kindness and mercy of those called to donate to LOTV.
The Church is shifting. From Pope Frances down to our LOTV community, we are doing a better job recognizing the need for ministries like ours. Here in Raleigh, LOTV is now listed on the Diocesan webpage for pastoral support and family guidance. We now have over 60 prayer ambassadors nation wide that pray for the families we have served in 43 / 50 states. Since our inception, we’ve sent over 650 prayer care packages across the nation to families who are served by our mission–45 boxes were sent to families this past January alone. We have many ways to get involved including monthly evenings of prayer on Zoom, quarterly in-person events, and the yearly retreat here in the heart of the Diocese of Raleigh.
By donating to LOTV, you can continue to change the social script. Your treasure affords ministries to use their time and talent to provide kindness, mercy, and love that supports human life and dignity. Together we can be the body of Christ to one another.
Prayerfully,
Whitney Whitmore
Co-Founder & Director of Mission
LOTV Catholic Ministry
